


You’re Mine & I’m Yours

by lanibb2013



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Graphic Description, M/M, Mushy scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 13:25:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanibb2013/pseuds/lanibb2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Harold and John love each other but they both have a hard time admitting the other could love them. When things finally boil over they finally admit their feelings for each other and find out that they both can be happy again. Harold finally chooses to trust John with some of his personal secrets.</p><p>Disclaimer: All rights to Person of Interest, characters, etc all belong to CBS and any other groups associated with the production of the show. I don't own anything but the story it's self.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You’re Mine & I’m Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I know this is probably out of character to some degree or possibly totally but this is what some of my friends would call a rabid plot bunny that got away from me so I appologize if you don't like how it turned out. This is my first POI story so it will take some time for me to get the characters down well. Yes I may have taken a little creative liberty.
> 
> **Yes I may have made Finch's belly a bit rounder than it is on the show but in my defense there are a couple of pictures of him that make his belly look rather round when he's not wearing a waistcoat that's fully buttoned :) I'm quite fond of the rounder Finch myself so it is in NO WAY meant to diss the man at all or the actor who plays him. I think Micheal Emerson is cute as a button in almost any role.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read my works :)

It was a very cold day New York City when Finch arrived at the library and unlocked it. He was not a skinny man but he was still shivering and shaking. He was kind of glad John wasn’t around this morning because he almost wanted to ask the younger man to hold him until he stopped shaking. He had stopped referring to the man as ‘Mr. Reese’ in his head since they had truly started to become friends. He also found that much to his own dismay he had fallen in love with the flirting man. The handsome man flirted endlessly with him and he sometimes wished John meant it. He knew his feeling would never be reciprocated because all he had to do was look in the mirror. He was almost 60, a geek, had a soft, round belly, bad limp, a fused back and neck, a rod in his spine, and too many scars to count on his body from extensive burns and surgeries after the accident that almost took his life. He was too damaged for anyone to ever love him like that again. He wore so many long layers of clothing to his imperfections the best he could. He knew John did care about him enough to risk his life to save him but love? He wouldn’t bet on it in the way he loved the younger man. He found it very hard to trust anyone with anything let alone his heart but he had lost his heart to the handsome op who had tried to strangle him when they first met. He was still afraid of John’s self destructive nature even though he was not afraid of the younger man hurting him specifically. His friend had proven that much by saving his life from Root and helping him get so he could leave the library without having a panic attack. He tried to push his thought about John out of his mind and started searching for info on their current number.

John had been out all night on recognizance on their latest number and was thinking all night about his little reclusive billionaire. He had found himself falling in love with Harold for quite a while. That’s partly why he turned the world upside down and threatened the machine to get him back. He knew he was physically attractive but he figured Harold would never be interested in him because the older man knew he was a murderer and such an emotional disaster that he really couldn’t blame his friend if he told him ‘hell no’ but he also knew that that little man was the only person in the world that could ground him and would save him from himself. He was too damaged for the little man he loved to ever be able to love him back so he did his best to protect Harold from everything and everyone including himself. He knew if he ever lost his friend he would break and probably kill himself. He wished he wasn’t as damaged as he was so Harold might have given him a chance but he is what his life has made him: A Ruthless assassin who only saving grace is a limping reclusive billionaire that offered him a way to redeem himself and takes care of him. He went back to watching their number to try and take his mind off of his friend. Amazingly this particular number’s life was saved rather easily for a change. He only had to kneecap two guys and call Carter to pick them up. By time Finch called him he had already managed to take care of it.

John teased, “You’re a little late, Finch. Carter’s on her way to pick up her gift and the number is safe.”

Finch replied, “Oh. Good job, Mr. Reese. That was pretty fast and clean. You can give me the report whenever you stop by. Thank you. I’ll call you when I get a new number for you.”

John was about to say something but Finch had cut off their communication before he could say anything so he just sighed. He just walked for a while until he came to their bench that they would meet at when they first started this crazy life and sat down. He didn’t know why it hurt so much when the older man dismissed him like he did. No…He knew why but it was his problem that he was in love with his boss. He was in love with those geeky glasses, that round belly, the limp, crooked smile, spiky hair, round ass, and everything else about his boss. He even thought his boss was sexy as hell in those 3 piece suits he wore. There were times when he wanted to kissed the older man or squeeze his ass so badly but he was sure the older man wouldn’t welcome the direct advances he wanted to do. He was so lost in his thought that he didn’t notice the object of those thought until their thighs were touching after the older man sat on the bench next to him. Oh the irony that they would both go to the same place to think. He said, “Hello, Finch.”

Harold had been a bit worried about John when the younger man didn’t come to the library after a few hours because it wasn’t like him not to be back after so long. He knew it was probably silly to worry so much but he put on his coat and limped his way to the street and a few blocks over he hailed a cab to take him to the park hoping that John would be there or at his apartment. He saw a figure that looked like the younger man sitting on their bench and when he got close enough he was relieved that it was John. He did notice the ex-op was rather distracted and didn’t notice him until their legs touched. He said, “I was wondering where you disappeared too. It’s been hours since we talked and you are usually back to the library in a quick amount of time. What’s on your mind, Mr. Reese?” He turned his whole upper body to face the younger man who was slouched down looking toward the ground.

Reese replied, “I’m fine, Finch. I’m always fine. Just needed some fresh air.”

Finch stated, “Bullshit. Something is bothering you or you would have noticed my presence before I had touched you. I can tell when you are distracted. Now are you going to talk to me or am I going to have to drag it out of you, John.” Harold rarely cursed but when he did he got the other man’s attention.

John sighed, “It’s a personal problem, Harold. It won’t affect my job.”

Harold groaned and replied, “How can it not affect your job? Already you let your guard down. What if I had been someone trying to kill you? Dammit. I’m not going to lose you because of a personal problem.”

John ground out, “Fine. If all I am to you is an asset then maybe I should get myself killed.”

Harold gasped, “Jesus, John. You are more than an asset. You’ve been way more since the day you were shot by Snow. You are the only person I trust at all in this world. You are my best friend.” He hadn’t truly had a friend since Nathan and he’s lost him but he’d be damned if he was going to lose John if he could help it.

John sighed, “What if you mean more to me than that, Harold? What if I want more than that from you?” He knew he shouldn’t have said it but he needed to know the answer.

Harold was taken aback by the question because it couldn’t possibly mean what it sounded like John was saying. He swallowed and said, “What do you mean, John? I will not be toyed with or manipulated. You had better clarify what you are trying to ask me.”

John laughed, “Are you really that thick, Harold? I know you don’t have much understanding of humans but I thought…..never mind. Forget I even said anything. I think I got my answer.” He went to stand up until he felt a hesitant hand on his thigh. He whispered, “What are you doing, Finch? I won’t be toyed with either so if you plan are starting something you better damn well be ready to finish it.” He felt the older man lean back again but still felt the pressure of the smaller man’s hand on his thigh close to his groin.

Harold hadn’t even thought it possible that the younger man could feel the same way as he did and misread his friend intentions like he so many times had before. He sat back and his hand moved a little closer to John’s groin. He whispered, “It seems…I owe you an…apology, Mr. Reese..John. I never thought it would be possible for you to…..”

John sighed, “To what, Finch? Fall in love with you? I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

Finch swallowed and replied, “You see, John. I’m not a pretty sight to look at without my clothes on. My body is a patchwork of scars and I’ve gained a lot of weight since I was turned into this. I just never considered the possibility that some one as good looking as you would be attracted to someone as physically disabled and insufficient as me. I am sorry I thought you were toying with me, John.”

John sighed, “Well I am but if you don’t feel the same…just forget the whole thing. I’m sorry to have freaked you out, Harold.”

Harold whispered, “I…love you too, John.” He saw the younger man look at him sharply with hope in his eyes. He spoke up, “I…I was afraid to say anything to you because I figured you’d never be interested in me. I realized I was in love with you when you almost died on my because of the CIA. I’m terrified of losing you every time I send you out on a number that I know could get you killed. I over compensate my lack of being able to tell you how I feel by spoiling you, buying you a loft, expensive clothes, and tons of other expensive things. When I fall in love it’s not easy for me to say the words. I’m much better at spoiling that person than actually telling them how I feel.”

John chuckled, “So you were spoiling me with all the expensive gifts all this time because you loved me? Guess I’m the thick one, huh?” He got a hesitant nod from the older man and shook his head. He said, “What am I going to do with you, Harold? Well I know what I’d like to do to you but I’ll leave that up to you but try not to think about it too long. Oh I should also warn you. If you choose to give me a chance I am a very possessive man. I will burn the world to protect you if I have too or die trying.”

Harold thought about what John did to get him back from Root and sighed, “I know, John. I’ve known since you saved my life. I had my suspicions then but I thought it was my imagination hoping for it to be true.”

John gently squeezed the hand on his inner thigh and said, “I will do my best to make you happy, Harold. I’m a romantic man at heart for those I love and will try my best to make you feel loved and adored for whatever time we have left together. Let me know when you are ready what you want to do.” He stood up, gently kissed the older man on the forehead and proceeded to walk home. He didn’t hear from Finch for about 3 days and figured the older man was to afraid to take a chance on a hired assassin. He was asleep in his bed when he woke up from a hesitant knock on his door. He got out of bed, looked at the clock to find it was 3:30 in the morning. He was only wearing a pair of boxers and tee-shirt when he opened the door to find Finch standing there with flowers in one hand, a garment bag in the other hand and Bear right behind him. He was so surprised he didn’t know what to say until prompted and he moved aside for his boss to come in the apartment.

Harold didn’t know what to do when John walked away. He wound up driving himself crazy for 3 days trying to talk himself out of taking John’s offer but he really couldn’t come up with much to deter him from taking the chance he had never thought he’s ever have again. Before he lost his nerve at 3am the third day he packed a couple days worth of suits in a garment bag, picked up bear and flowers on his way to John’s loft. He hoped the younger man wouldn’t be too upset by the late hour but he needed to go while he had the nerve. When John opened the door in boxers and a tee-shirt he felt blood rush to his groin and cheeks. He noticed the dumbstruck look on John’s face. He asked, “Um uh, John? May I come in?” That prompted the younger man to step aside so he could come in. He limped into the room, gently placed his garment bag over the back of a chair and held out the flowers. He stammered, “I um thought I’d try a simple romantic apology for taking so long to come here. I’ve made my decision and I’m willing to try this relationship because you could die tomorrow and I’d regret not trying because I’m afraid of a relationship or losing you.”

After John finally managed to snap out of his shock he took the flowers, found a vase, put water in it, and arranged the flowers in it. He placed it on the kitchen table and turned back to Finch. He said, “Thank you, Harold. The flowers are lovely.” He slowly walked over to the older man so to try not to startle Finch but he could tell it was all the smaller man could do to stay put and not run. He asked, “Are you sure you want this? Your physical reaction says no.”

Finch shakily replied, “I’m a man of my word, John. It’s just that my body is very damaged and I’m afraid of you being turned off by it.”

John finally managed to reach the older man and whispered, “I love you, Harold. I all ready knew your body is badly scarred from what I’ve managed to find out about you. True I haven’t actually seen you naked but I doubt it will be a problem. I love all of you. You’ll just have to trust me on that account.” He bent his neck and gently kissed the older man passionately on the lips. He wrapped his arms loosely around the smaller man and grabbed his round rump gently so he didn’t hurt Finch.

Finch pulled away from the kiss and asked, “Would you mind if we um didn’t have sex yet? Just see if we can sleep in the same bed with each other? I have so many injuries I require a lot of pillows to support my damaged left side. That way if it’s too much to sleep with me all the time then I’ll know that a relationship might not be a good idea after all.”

John sighed, “All right. We’ll do it your way but you are not getting away that easy.” He went and gathered up all the pillows in the apartment and asked, “Will these work?”

Harold looked at the pillows and replied, “They’ll do for tonight. I’ll probably need to get mine if I stay here a lot but for now they’ll work. Thank you.”

John noticed the older man hadn’t undressed yet and set the pillows down. He walked over to the smaller man and fingered the older man’s buttons on the waist coat. He asked, “You sleeping in your suit, Harold?”

Harold stammered, “No I brought a pair of pajamas. I think I’ll go change.” He grabbed the overnight bag he had stashed in the bottom of his garment bag and quickly limped into the bathroom. He stripped down to his boxers and put on his pajamas. They were just white with blue stripes but they were a barrier between him and John until he could move further. He limped out into the loft to find John in the kitchen getting a glass of water. He saw John look up as soon as the younger man heard his distinctive but muffled gait since he was barefoot.

John heard Harold come out of the bathroom and looked at the older man. He drank his water and set the glass down in the sink before walking over to the smaller man and kissing him senseless. He gently led the older man to the bedroom and helped the smaller man get comfortable in the nest of pillows. When his friend was comfortable he slipped in his side of the bed and pulled up the covers to cover both of them. He pillowed his head on his arm and looked at Finch. He didn’t want to hurt the older man so he just “bird” watched. He watched as the older man tried to turn his body to look at him and he smiled back at his friend.

Finch wondered why the younger man hadn’t tried to touch him since they had gotten in bed so he turned his body the best he could to look at John who he found was simply watching him and smiling. He grunted, “I won’t break if you touch me, John. I screwed and pinned together rather well even if it does hurt like hell most of the time.”

John chuckled at Finches little joke and then said, “I just don’t want to hurt you, Harold. I don’t know what your limits are for cuddling or anything like that.”

Harold sighed and replied, “I haven’t slept with anyone since I wound up like this, so I don’t know either. We will just have to try things and see how badly it hurts me. If it bothers me too much I’ll let you know. I promise you that. Now just do something.” After a few false starts and pains later he had John’s head on his shoulder, the younger man had one leg over both of his and the younger man’s leg was bent at the knee so it nuzzled up against his groin. The younger man’s free arm was wrapped around his middle where the curve of his belly started. He was a little embarrassed but the fact that he liked how it felt outweighed his embarrassment. The position also didn’t hurt him to much so he wrapped his arms around John shoulders and sighed, “I think this will work for now, John.” He got a kiss in the V of his pajama top in answer and soon drifted off to sleep.

When John woke up the next morning he watched the older man sleep for a while until he saw Harold’s face grimace in pain and the older man woke up crying and holding his leg. He held the older man close to his chest until the smaller man calmed down. He asked, “What happened?”

Harold had forgotten where he was and was embarrassed about his outburst but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He answered, “Muscle spasms in my left leg caused by permanent severe muscle and nerve damage. Happens every morning and at other random times in the day sometimes. Sorry if I woke you, John.”

John kissed Harold’s forehead, held him close and replied, “Its ok. You didn’t wake me. I was already awake. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Harold sighed, “No. I’ve dealt with this for years and while some of the daily ones can be eased by my medication but the ones in the morning are not because the meds aren’t in my system when I wake up. I have an antispasmodic called Neurotin for it but I also have heavy narcotic for when the pain is too bad but I don’t like to take it because it messes up my head and makes it hard for me to concentrate. Are you surprised that I take pain killers, Mr. Reese?”

John kissed the older man’s forehead and quietly said, “No. I’m more surprised you are telling me the medications you take when finding out your address is an act of congress.”

Harold sighed, “I am telling you because as this relationship progresses you will see me in agony at times, John. My body really is feebler than I let on and I’ve been hiding it from you because I didn’t want to worry you or give you the impression that I am incapable of helping in the field. I may ask you to get my pills for me if my leg gives out and I can’t walk. When I get enough pain to take a narcotic my bad leg gives out and I can’t even walk, John. Are you sure you want an old damaged cripple like me for your lover?”

John said, “Yes, Harold. I love you and only you. I still want you even with your debilitating physical disabilities. Whatever happens I’m not going anywhere.” He just gently kissed the older man on the lips and ran his hand lightly up and down the smaller man’s back. He snuck his hand under his friend’s top and felt him stiffen for a minute before relaxing again. He felt rough ridges of scars all over the older man’s left side and wondered if his left arm had scars too. He wasn’t bothered by them at all because he had a lot of his own although most of those were from bullets and smaller but still he had no room to talk even if they did bother him. He moved his lips to Harold’s neck and started sucking hard until he left a hickey and then he gently kissed the older man all over his neck. He moved to unbutton the older man’s top and heard whimpering and felt the smaller man clawing at his hands. He calmly said, “Shh, Harold. It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.” Finally the smaller man’s clawing stopped but he kept whimpering. He felt so bad that the older man was that scared of someone seeing his body.

Harold wasn’t really ready for Reese to see him ugly scars and big belly but he didn’t think he’s ever be ready really so when he heard John talking to him he forced himself to calm down enough to let the younger man look at him. He felt his buttons on his shirt being opened one by one and couldn’t stop worrying and whimpering. He had kept his eyes closed just in case John was wrong about the reaction to his body. After a couple of minutes he felt John’s hand caressing his sides and rubbing his belly before kissing him all over his chest. He learned in that moment he liked having his belly rubbed and suddenly had to snort at the irony of that. He felt John suddenly stop at his snort and he whined, “Don’t stop. I just thought it was funny that I like my belly rubbed like bear.” He heard a chuckle and John went back to rubbing his belly and he sighed.

When John finally unbuttoned Harold’s shirt he found a myriad of elongated scars on the left side of the older man’s chest and belly. He also found the older man had a large amount of brown and silver chest hair that extended down onto his belly and down to the older man’s groin from what he could tell. The hair was soft and fluffy, unlike his own which was wiry. He gently kneaded the older man’s belly and found it was soft and pliable. He had always had a thing for men that had round bellies. He like thin women but pot bellied men. Talk about odd taste but Harold was the type of guy he was attracted to, slightly nerdy and heavier set. The smaller man did a good job at hiding his round belly under his three piece suits because he looks thinner than he really is with all the layers removed. He whispered, “Oh, Harold. You’ve been through too much shit in your life haven’t you? To me you are still beautiful.” He settled down again with his head on Harold’s bare shoulder and hand rubbing circles on the older man’s round belly.

Harold sighed and said, “All my nastier scars are from being burnt in a car explosion. The less angry ones are from all the surgeries I had to have to save my life after my left side was busted up from a car hitting me and then the force of the explosion that burned me. I almost died and was never expected to ever be able to walk again. I have pins, screws, rods and bolts all through the left side of my body to hold it together. I was fucking lucky to be alive but until now I thought I was being punished for creating the machine and not doing anything to save the irrelevants. Nathan was one of them I couldn’t save and I hated myself for so long after he was killed that I thought about committing suicide so I buried myself in the list but it haunted me so bad I barely slept. Then I met you at the hospital in New Rochelle and just knew you were the one good enough to help me but tainted enough to do what had to be done but I was bound to a wheelchair then and couldn’t help anyone like that. I had a hell of a time tracking you down but I never planned on falling in love with you but I did and here we are and I’m babbling.” He knew he had probably told his friend to much but he didn’t really care anymore. If he was going to sleep and live with the man he would trust him.

John was shell shocked because Harold had never shared this much personal information with him not over the last 2 years let alone in 5 minutes. He replied, “Aw, Harold. You were the man I bumped into as I stormed out….. I’m so sorry. I knew you looked familiar from somewhere but couldn’t place where I’d seen you before. In truth I thought you never could love me. There were two reasons mostly. I’m a man and to use one of your terms I’m just bad code. I had thought that was why you didn’t truly trust me. I’m not saying that you didn’t at all just not completely. I mean look at us. We are two men who are supposed to be dead and risk our lives for people we don’t even know every day. Then when one of us is in trouble we risk our lives to save the other. If we should trust anyone it should be each other since both our lives depend on the other. After you saved my ass from dying when the CIA caught up with me I was shocked but if you were willing to risk your own life and secrecy to save me than I owed you my trust. You could have just left me there to be found or to die but you didn’t and I couldn’t understand why because you are the first person that has every truly cared about me enough to risk their life for me. If something happened that killed you or you turned your back on me I’d be so devastated I’d probably just kill myself. My life revolves around you and has since the day you risked your life for mine. You pulled me out of my downward spiral of self destruction because you thought I was worth your time to save.”

Harold replied, “I saved your life because I was all ready in love with you back then and couldn’t stand the thought of loosing you without at least trying to save you. I probably would have taken the chance anyway but the driving force was that I couldn’t picture my dull and dreary life anymore without you in it. I’ve been lonely for so long and you brought sunshine into my life. How could I not love you? How could I not risk my life to save yours? You make my life whole. Don’t expect declarations of love and devotion from me, John. I’m not a romantic type of man but please don’t ever doubt that I love you or that those feelings are not in my heart for you. Without you I’d probably sink back into depression and self starvation. I’m lost without you in my life, John. If you left me I think I’d just give up.” He really wasn’t a person who shared his feelings but he was in bed half naked with the only man he had trusted since Nathan died. He was also in an emotional mood which usually he hid those but this time he just didn’t care all that much because John felt the same way from the look on the younger man’s face so he took a chance at being open. He still wasn’t ready to tell his friend his whole life story but at least they both knew where they stood with each other.

John replied, “I’m not going anywhere, Harold. Besides someone has to take care of you, keep an eye on you and make sure you eat. If it wasn’t for me how much would you eat?”

Harold looked away from the eyes that were scrutinizing him and whispered, “You’re right, John. I’m not very good at taking care of myself. I…I never have been but I got worse with it after I lost everything that mattered to me because I didn’t care to live anymore. I’m much better at taking care of others which is why I enjoy taking care of you, John. I can also tell you seem to like it as well so it was mutually beneficial for both of us. I know how much you’ve done for me and while it might not be on the scale of what I have done for you it means so much to me because it means I have someone who cares about me again. I missed that after….I lost Nathan and had to leave Grace.”

John smiled and kissed the older man’s forehead and whispered, “Don’t worry, Harold. I’ll keep an eye on you as much as you’ll let me because I want to make sure you are taken care of and well. You are right I don’t mind being kept myself which is surprising even to me but I think it’s because it you taking care of me. Anyone else I would have been offended but you drug me out of the gutter and made me want to live again. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” He lightly kissed the older man’s lips and gently hugged him before putting his head down on his friend’s chest to listen to Harold’s strong heartbeat. He closed his eyes and listened to the older man’s breathing and realized it was uneven and that if you listened close enough you could hear a wheezing in the older man’s lungs. He asked, “Harold? Do you have a cold or something? You’re wheezing a bit when you breathe.”

Harold knew sooner or later the younger man would pick up on the wheezing in his lungs but he didn’t think it would be this fast. It only got bad enough to hear without listening to his lungs if he was running or sick but it was always there beneath the surface. He sighed, “No. I’m not sick. The wheezing has been there since…..the accident. My lungs were damaged as well and the ending result was COPD but luckily it’s not a very bad case of it but it does affect me at times.”

John whispered, “That’s why you are winded so easy and start coughing when you push yourself to much like trying to run. Oh, Harold. You shouldn’t be out in the field. Why do you push yourself so hard? Someday you might kill yourself.”

Harold ground out, “Because I am not an invalid, John. I don’t want you to treat me like one. I will not be treated like I can’t be of any use in the field. I have held my own even if I am not as experienced as you are.”

John sighed, “Harold, I would never treat you like an invalid but I’m also not going to let you kill yourself either. You have nothing to prove for god sake. I knew you needed me because of your lack of mobility but I never once considered you an invalid and incapable of doing what needed to be done. That being said, you are everything to me and I don’t want you to…..” He just fell silent and put his head back down on Harold’s chest so the older man’s wouldn’t see the turmoil in his eyes. He knew the smaller man felt useless because of his disabilities but he was so afraid one of these days Harold would push himself too far. It all came down to the fact that he didn’t want his friend to die before him. If anyone was going to die first it would be him.

Harold sighed and wrapped his arm tightly around the younger man’s shoulders. He had known having a romantic relationship with John was going to be hard for him because as his friend found out more about his ailments the more John would want to protect him. He knew John meant well but he didn’t want to be smothered with John’s protective streak. He said, “John, I appreciate the concern but I am not telling you these things for you to smother me in over protectiveness. Please don’t make me regret my decision of having a relationship with you and sharing personal information with you about myself. I know you mean well but while I will let you take care of me in many ways I will not be controlled. You need to understand that I will do what I have to in order to help or save you even if I have to jump in front of a god damn bullet, John.”

John whispered, “I have always felt the same and will jump in front of a bullet to save you too. You are the brightest part of my life and if your light goes out I wouldn’t want to live anymore, Harold. I hide my deepest feelings from the world just like you but they are still there.”

Harold sighed, “I guess we are at an impasse but at least we’ve come to an understanding of some kind.” His leg had finally stopped giving him spasms but he still needed his meds. He asked, “John? Would you mind getting me something from my overnight bag? There is a smaller pouch in it that has my medications in it. Could you bring that to me and a glass of water?” He watched as John got off the bed and into the other room.

John found the pouch his friend referred to, got the water and went back into the bedroom. He set the items down on the night stand and helped Harold sit up before handing him the pouch. He went to leave the room to give the older man privacy but he stopped when Harold started naming every pill as he took it out and what it was for.

Harold noticed John leaving the room and had to admire that the younger man was letting him take his pills without interrogating him but he decided he wanted John to know. As he took them out he named then and told the younger man why he took them. He said, “Neurotin 200mg, nerve and muscle pain 3 pills 3 times a day, singulair 10mg, for my COPD 1 pill in the evening, Nexium 20mg, for acid reflux due to stress 1 pill in the morning, Prozac 20mg, for my chronic depression that I’m had since the accident 1 pill once a day, and Morphine 200mg as needed for pain. Now you know my medications. Thank you for giving the choice to tell you instead of being nosey, John.” He took the Nexium, Prozac, and 3 Neurotin. He drank the rest of the water and set the empty glass on the night stand again before falling back into the pillows. He opened his eyes when John sat back down on the bed and curled up against him again.

John whispered, “Thank you for trusting me, Harold.” He was finding if he let the older man make the choice rather than him digging or forcing the issue the older man was more forthcoming with personal information so he just let his obsession of finding out everything on his boss go a long time ago because in the end he would rather learn things from the smaller man through being trusted. Then something unusual happened he felt the older man kiss the top of his head and he wanted to cry. He let the sound of the older man’s stead heartbeat lull him to sleep.

Harold lightly ran his hand up and down the younger man’s back until he noticed oh had fallen asleep again so he let himself nod off again himself. He woke up again sometime later but John wasn’t in bed with him anymore. He felt the spot the younger man had last been and noticed it was cold so the younger man had been gone for a while. He sighed and wondered where his friend had gone hoping the younger man didn’t just take off on him. He managed to get out of bed after some scooting and rolling over to John’s side of the bed. He got out of bed and buttoned his pajama top back up while he went looking through the loft for his elusive friend. He didn’t find John in the loft at all so he got a glass of water. He wanted to cry but he forced the feeling back down into hiding. He didn’t even noticed some one sneak up on him until he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him and a kiss on his neck. He leaned back into the embraces and felt the hands go under his shirt to rub his belly and gasped, “John?”

John thought Harold looked so sad when he walked in the kitchen that he just had to make him feel better. When the older man asked if it was him he replied, “uhuh.” Then he went back to kissing the older man’s neck and rubbing the underside of Finch’s belly. He felt so happy that the older man was allowing him to touch him in any intimate way let alone on the older man’s belly because he noticed how Harold always tried to hide that he had a round belly from people. He growled, “I want you, Harold. But if you want me to stop just say so before I get carried away.”

Harold turned around causing John’s hands to cup his round ass and replied, “I want you too, John. I’m just scared. Even before my body was damaged I never was with a man and now I’m not as agile as I was back then.” It was true because he had never been with a man before sexually. He had fallen in love with Nathan but he had never acted on that feeling. Firmly kissed Finch’s lips and replied, “It’s all right. We’ll go slowly and I’ll be careful. Tell me if you are in too much pain from it and tell me to stop and I will. Last thing I want to do is hurt you, Harold.”

Harold nodded and let the younger man lead him into the bedroom. He blinked when John took his glasses off and put them on the night stand before gently starting to undress him. He swallowed and forced himself to keep still and not freak out over his clothes coming off. He could tell he was shaking but he was determined to get over his fear for this man. John was worth the trouble of letting someone love him.

John started by gently unbuttoning Harold pajama top and sliding it off the older man’s shoulders. Then he unsnapped the smaller man’s pants and let them fall to the floor before gently pulling off his friend’s boxers. He took a good look at his soon to be lover. He noticed the huge angry scars all over the older man’s left hip, butt cheek and thigh, the atrophied muscles in that same leg from disuse, the scars on the older man’s left arm from burns, and the round belly the older man always tried to hide out of embarrassment. He even noticed the long scar on the back of his lover’s neck from the older man’s neck being fused. He loved every part of Harold even every scar. He saw Finch was shaking like a leaf so he quickly stripped out of his clothes and gently pulled Harold into his arms and caressed the older man while he kissed him feverishly trying to distract him. He gently coaxed Harold onto the bed and crawled on with him. He was straddling the older man’s thighs.

Harold understood that John was trying to distract him and he appreciated the thought. Before he knew it he was on his back on the bed with John on top of him rubbing their erections together. ‘I have an erection? When did that happen? This is good. Oh god does this feels good. It’s been so long since I even had any desire for sex.’ He finally stopped thinking and let the feeling of being ravished take over and boy was John ravishing him. The younger man was kissing, licking, caressing, and sucking him almost everywhere. He could feel his orgasm building and snapped his eyes open and gasped, “Stop, John. Stop.” When the younger man went to get off of him he stopped him. He knew he had to be blushing when he whispered, “I didn’t mean that. I haven’t had any desire for sex in so long that my senses are overwhelmed. I was going to finish before we started if you didn’t stop for a few minutes for the excitement to ebb a bit. It was building too fast for me to control myself.”

John had thought Finch had meant to completely stop but after the older man explained he whispered, “It’s all right. I don’t mind. We will have more times to work on self control. Right now I just want to make you happy.”

Harold replied, “I’m not as young as you, John. I don’t know how many times I can manage to get it up in a night. I just don’t want to finish too soon. I want you to enjoy yourself too. I’m also a bit old fashioned. I think my partner should orgasm before I do. I guess you could call me a gentleman in that way.”

John kissed Harold and caressed the older man’s sideburn. He tightly replied, “You keep surprising me. You are always so good to me, Harold. I wish there was something I could do to repay you for taking care of me and loving me like you do.”

Harold touched John’s face and replied, “You are doing it, John. You are returning my love and trying hard to make me happy. Not only that but you take care of me when I’m a stubborn old bastard, sick, in pain or even high as a kite without asking for anything in return. That’s all I could ask for from anyone. Never in my wildest dreams did I think for one second that I would have this with you because I’m not easy to deal with or pretty to look at because of my scars. You are so beautiful compared to me, John. I’m not saying I’m ugly but I’m not anywhere near what I used to look like before the accident scarred and aged me so much.”

John whispered, “I love you and as far as I’m concerned you are beautiful, Harold. You are beautiful inside and out no matter what you say. You are a far better man than I am and I am honored that you chose to give me a chance to love you.”

Harold whispered, “Come here, John.” He motioned for the younger man to lie on top of him and for the first time he initiated their intimacy by kissing the younger man when their lips met. In a few minutes he felt John rutting slowly against him again. He noticed John was crying and gently wiped a tear away with his finger as the younger man looked at him with a shaky smile on his young face. He watched the younger man get off of him to look in the night stand drawer for something.

John rummaged through his drawer until he found the tube of lubricant he kept there for when he masturbated. He laid down next the older man and held out the tube and quietly asked, “Will you take me, Harold?”

Harold turned his whole upper body to look at the younger man as he realized what John meant. He gasped, “Are you sure? I’ve never been with a man before so I haven’t the faintest clue how to have anal sex. I’m sorry I just assumed that’s what you were asking. If I’m wrong I apologize for the assumption. I…”

John kissed the older man silent and replied, “Yes. I was asking you to have anal sex with me. Will you take me as your lover, Harold?” When he got a hesitant nod he replied, “OK. I’ll talk you through it and let you know if you are hurting me.” He prepared himself well because he had noticed the older man might be small in stature but his erection was about 8 inches long and 4 inches thick. He could tell when the smaller man settled between his legs he was going to be doing this on his back which was all right. He was way more agile than his lover so he placed a couple pillows under his hips to raise his butt up so Harold could get an easy alignment with his entrance. He helped the older man get into a workable position and guided his friend inside of himself.

Harold Just let John guide him and once he was inside of the younger man it felt even better than being inside of a woman. He groaned, “Oh, Wow.” He loved how tight his lover felt around him and had to keep from coming right on the spot. When his excitement tapered off enough he started moving slowly in and out at John’s prompting. He felt his penis head run over a little nub inside of John which caused the taller man to growl at him. He started to speed up and got so caught up in the moment he didn’t even care how he looked with his belly bouncing against the younger man like a ball. When he came he saw stars, stiffened and gasped as he released inside of his lover. He collapsed onto of John panting and wheezing.

John helped the older man find a rhythm and angle that hit his prostate. He growled, “There, Harold. Keep that angle.” He felt the older man speeding up and with a few more quick thrusts he saw the surprised and joy on his lovers face as he felt the older man’s seed flood inside of him. He came shortly after with a couple of tugs on his erection and a grunt before the older man had finished his orgasm. The wind was knocked out of him as the heavier man fell on top of him but he didn’t mind. He was more worried about Harold’s wheezing for over exertion. He touched the older man face and asked, “Harold? Are you all right?”

Harold was brought out of his euphoria by John’s hand and voice. He realized he must be crushing the poor man so he awkwardly rolled onto his back with a hiss. He heard the whimper from John as he slipped out of the younger man’s body. He panted, “Yeah. I’m more than fine, John. Just need a few minutes. That was mind blowing. That just took a lot out of me. I’m an old man remember?”

John rolled and supported himself with his elbow and used his free hand to run his fingers up and down the older man’s chest and belly which he found out tickled the smaller man. He just flattened his hand and slid it over to caress the older man’s left side and kissed his lover’s temple. He always made sure he slept or laid down on the right side of the bed because it was the older man’s good side that he could snuggle with the smaller man on. He ran his fingers over his lover’s left temple while he smiled and said, “Thank you for taking me, Harold. Now I belong to you mind, body and soul. You have no idea how much it means to me.”

Harold caressed the side of John face and replied, “Thank you for giving me that gift, John. It means so much to me that you trust me enough to give me that gift.” He still didn’t think he deserved John but he wasn’t going to fight anymore. If he can be happy for a while than he’s going to shut up and accept what time he has with the younger man. He felt John settle down with his head on his shoulder and an arm across his belly rubbing his scars on his left side. He wasn’t as bothered by John touching his scars anymore because the younger man has been true to his word and not made a fuss over them like some people would. He felt john get up after a while and wondered where the younger man had disappeared to until he felt a warm wet washcloth on his skin. He was too tired for a shower so he let John clean him up and wash him off. He sighed, “Thank you, John.” He had his eyes closed the whole time and felt a kiss on his forehead before his lover left the room again. He felt John climb back into bed with him a few minutes later.

John cleaned Harold up because he could tell their lovemaking wiped the older man out. He curled up with his head on the smaller man’s chest so he could listen to his lover’s heartbeat. He entwined his free leg with the older man’s right leg and rested his hand on the older man’s scarred left side of his belly gently rubbing up and down in a soothing motion. He whispered, “Who’s am I?” He was surprised when the older man actually replied to his question.

Harold knew John needed him to answer that question so he mumbled, “You’re mine, John. I am yours for as long as I live.” He coughed lightly and wrapped his right arm over John’s shoulders and rested his free hand on the curve of his belly as he nodded off to sleep.

John smiled when he heard the older man’s breathing even out with sleep and knew he would do everything he could to protect his lover from everything he had too. He was jostled a little when the smaller man coughed again in his sleep. He knew Harold was not a well man but he was going to do everything he could to keep the older man alive as long as he could unless he happened to die before the older man which wouldn’t surprise him with the line of work they were in. After a while he followed the older man into sleep held by the one he loved.

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